Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
