Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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