ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
