If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize