I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
