you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
