Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
