I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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