Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
