well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
