He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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