So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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