my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
