I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize