Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
