____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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