At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
