Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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