I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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