u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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