Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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