I am puke
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
