the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
