if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
