I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
