how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
