After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
