I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
