YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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