Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
