i need an iv and a liver transplant
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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