You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
