He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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