I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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