He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He shit in the fireplace
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
