If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize