while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
