areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
