I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You ate ashes out of my bong
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize