You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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