it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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