This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
