But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Your penis caused this!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize