I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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