He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
