I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
