Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
