You can't special order awesome
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
