My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
