from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
