You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Randomize
