Welp...herpes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
