uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
