Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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