Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize