he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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